Fall is a great time to start going on fun and festive dates. Every date you go on does not have to be a sit down dinner at a restaurant – get outside and explore your city, go on a walk or do something active together. This is a great way to get to know your date or significant other a little bit better and try some new things. Here are some of our favorite fall date ideas to try this season.
Go on a Walk
Not only is this a healthy date idea, this is a perfect excuse to look at the gorgeous fall trees and get in touch with your city. Fall is so beautiful, why not get out there and enjoy it? Find a lake to walk around, or a path to take a bike ride; you could even stop and get a cup of coffee on the way. Start the day off with no plans and make some as you go. Finding that spontaneity in your partner is such a great way to get to know each other a little better and have a fun day.
Staying inside and making some classic fall-time treats is a perfect way to snuggle up to your S/O and have fun in the kitchen. Sometimes staying in and cooking or baking together can be way more intimate than going out to eat. This enables you and your partner to have more freedom in the kitchen and practice working together as a team. Once your delicious treat is ready, the two of you can curl up on the couch and watch a fun holiday movie together and enjoy what you just made. Cool weather brings out nesting instincts, use them to your advantage!
Go to an Apple Orchard
There’s nothing more satisfying than eating a delicious seasonal apple and going on a chilly hayride with your partner. You could even make this into a double date and invite some friends to join you. Pick some apples, try some pumpkin bread, and spend some quality time with your S/O. Fall only comes once a year, you might as well make the most of it.
Going canoeing or hiking with your significant other is a great idea if you want to try something new. Getting outside before it gets too cold is a great way to enjoy this nice weather as well. Get all cozied up and find a nice spot to go paddling. This could be an utter fail, or it could be an awesome opportunity to get to know your partner better!
Go on a Picnic!
This doesn’t have to a boring or ordinary picnic, this could be a more upscale and gourmet with wine, cheese and chocolate, or whatever you two want to bring! Bring a soft blanket, and take a day to have a lunch picnic or find a warmer evening for a dinner picnic. Find a nice park to set up camp, and enjoy some finger food while watching the sun set. This is both fun and romantic, and will help change it up from your typical date night.
Take a Road Trip
This can be spontaneous and exciting. You could plan a road trip, or you could just get in the car and go on a weekend getaway. There are so many exciting nooks and crannies around your city that you two probably aren’t aware of, and this is a great way to explore while spending some quality time with your sweetheart. If this is too spontaneous and stressful for you that’s okay, planning this out a little more may eliminate some stress while still being enjoyable. Make a reservation at a quaint bed and breakfast, or rent a cabin for the weekend. Sometimes life gets so overwhelming; taking a minute to step back and get away with someone you care about could be just what you need.
Happy Fall Dating!
Written by Madison, an IJL Team Member.
I’d like to present you with two first date scenarios, and leave you to guess which of these matches has the best long-term potential.
Date A: You hit it off right away. The banter is friendly, and you seem to know what the other is saying before the words leave their lips. You find you have a few things in common but really, it’s more about this FEELING. You and your date are totally in sync.
Date B: The content of the conversation is fun but there are some awkward pauses. You find you have a lot in common but the back-and-forth is a little stilted. Not terribly so, but you’re feeling as though you’re not really jiving with this person.
So, which would you pick? Obviously Date A, right?
I’d put my money on Date B.
This is very important: on a first date with someone, if conversation flows easily right away it may ONLY mean you have a similar communication style as the person you are sitting across from. It may feel easy and natural but sometimes we mistake that ease for chemistry or even worse - the assumption that this is the RIGHT person for us. Should you go out on a second date with this person? Absolutely! But don’t start writing your wedding vows just yet.
On the flip side, the person with whom you just shared a slightly awkward lull in conversation could very well be your soul mate. This person might be a great match for you, but it may take up to three dates for your communication style differences to blend into an easy chemistry that you may not have noticed at first.
This is why at IJL we always tell our clients to go on at least two dates with everyone! We have found that most people are more comfortable and are more themselves on a second or third date.
Take a good look at your life. If it is messy, you are probably not going to be the best partner. Start working on yourself! Please understand there is always room for growth in all areas of dating but this is the jumping off point. Make sure you are:
*Your home life is organized
*You have achieved a healthy physical appearance
*Your emotional health is in a positive place
Step 2: How to get into a relationship
Dating! This is the smart way to get into a relationship. Most singles just do not do it the right way. They go on one date and then they are done.
I have interviewed thousands of singles over the years and everyone says it takes at least 3 dates to tell if there could be long-term potential, yet everyone also states that they "know" in the first 15 minutes. These are wildly different statements and goes to show you how little effort people actually put into building romantic relationships. Choosing a partner is one of the most important aspects of your happiness.
My advice: stop judging altogether. Look at each date as an experience. When you are on the date stop deciding whether this person is the one and just listen. Simply get to know them. Let them get to know you! The key to developing relationships is going on second and third dates regularly. Talk on the phone more over texting. Say yes more. Give someone a real chance.
Step 3: How to know if it's the right relationship
Clients get so focused on looking forward that they do not live in the moment. Be present in your current state of happiness! No one wants to hear this but the truth is only time will tell. So have some fun and stop worrying about it!
Step 4: How to grow your relationship
*Respect yourself and your boundaries. You know what works for you in a relationship.
*Respect your partner and their boundaries as well.
*Stop hiding from who you really are and communicate it to your partner. Tell them how you feel and what you want. This is how you build respect and trust.
*Work on intimacy; a healthy sex life is important for couples.
*If you like to see your partner happy, then do what makes them feel happy more. Sometimes, it's just that simple.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
Spring cleaning isn't just for your closet! Professional matchmaker with It's Just Lunch in Washington DC, Kim Rosenberg talks about her top tips to spring clean your love life this season.
By: Ronda Joubert, Elite Matchmaker, It's Just Lunch Chicago
We’ve all heard online dating horror stories that extol the tales of going out with a guy who was handsome and funny… only to find out he was married with 6 kids. There’s also the one about that smart, cute girl who actually had been convicted of numerous felonies. So it’s understandable that we want to do a little checking around about the person we are planning to meet. But in an age where information is so readily available, how much resarch is too much?
People say they want to meet someone oragnically while they’re shopping for organic peaches or running along the lakefront glistening just so… but when the opportunity arises to be introduced to a great new person the investigation ensues.
How many Instagram followers does he have? Is that a cat sitting behind her on the chair to the left in that Facebook picture? It looks like he was in band in high school and I really hated band.
When we meet people while out playing darts at our favorite bar we just strike up conversations and hope the lighting is OK. That’s the fun part! We should enjoy getting to know someone’s sense of humor, passions and little quirks. The things that make us unique and special can’t be captured in photos. When you start to lose the humanity of dating you never have a chance to fall in love with his goofy laugh or the way she tilts her head when she’s really contemplating something. You never get the chance to hear the love in his voice when his mom calls or see the compassionate she has for the homeless guy you walk by.
It might be a good idea to take a chance and leave your CIA aspirations on the backburner for a while. You never know who you might have overlooked because you hated their Linkedin photo.
Ronda has over 10 years of experience listening to peoples' needs and putting the pieces together to help her Clients achieve their relationship goals. She attributes her success to her ability to listen and understand what really affects people and helps them find that perfect match. She understands that the busy lives of her Clients make it difficult for them to meet that dynamic individual who can add to their already happy and fulfilled lives. What she loves the most about her job is hearing the excitement in the voice of her clients when they have just had one of the most wonderful first dates of their lives and think they have just met "THE ONE".
For more information about It's Just Lunch, contact us! www.ItsJustLunchWashington.com or 202.466.4333
Written by: Tracey Fuller, Client Advisor, It’s Just Lunch Chicago
Thanksgiving is a time for families to come together, eat delicious food, and give thanks for what the past year has brought them. It is also a time for people to bring home their significant other for the first time. Will your significant other be bringing you home this Thanksgiving? Are you prepared for what you may encounter? Some people think when meeting their partner’s parents for the first time that they will automatically welcome them with open arms, and they will fall in love with them immediately. Problem with that is, they did not consider that all families are different, and just because their family may be welcoming, doesn’t mean their partner’s is. Here are some tips on how to survive meeting your significant other’s family for the first time this Thanksgiving.
The holidays are stressful enough without worrying about meeting your significant other’s family for the first time. Be prepared, be respectful, and be helpful. Because, you never know, they may also be your future in-laws one day!
For more holiday dating tips, check out Erika’s segment “Recipe for Holiday Romance” on Good Day Chicago! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa4OxVR9paY
By: Tracey Fuller, Client Advisor, It's Just Lunch Chicago
You are on a first date with a guy, and after about an hour with him, you realize he just isn’t your usual type. He doesn’t really know how to relate to your sense of humor, you don’t have a lot in common, there are awkward silences, and also, you just didn’t feel that spark. The “spark” that gives you that tingly feeling when you meet someone that makes you think he could be “the one.” So, you choose not to see this guy again, and go out with a man more your type, the attractive jock-type who has a bad boy side, but that’s okay, because he’s really hot! Then you realize after about three months that his antics were only cute for about a month, and he started to not look so hot after he ditched you for his friends a few Saturday nights in a row. The relationship ends, and you’re back to square one. You may be thinking “It’s his fault, I was perfect for him, he’s going to miss me when I’m gone.” No, no he’s not. What you should really be doing is re-evaluating your standards, and try being more open-minded when it comes to dating.
Many people when dating put their dates in boxes, meaning after only getting to know them for an hour (or if that) they assume they fit in either Box 1 – Definitely my type, Box 2 – Maybe as a friend, Box 3 – No way it’s going to happen. We are all guilty of this, we put many people in our lives in boxes. Although, when you are dating and meeting new people, it’s wise not to be so closed-minded. Being open-minded means not closing off people that you could actually have a connection with, and it may not happen on the first date. You may be sitting in front of a man who isn’t particularly your type, but you find him cute in his own way. The people who have the best time dating are open-minded, and have fun just meeting new people.
Even if your date isn’t “the one,” they might know the person that is your future husband. People also put too much stock in the first date for that instant “spark” that they forget about why they are on the date in the first place. You can find an instant spark at any bar down the street, but if you’re looking for long-term, getting to know someone doesn’t only take a first date. Nerves sometimes get the best of people on first dates, and it takes longer for some people to bring out their true selves. If there is something you like about someone, but felt the attraction, or “spark” wasn’t there, you may be surprised on the second or third date. Next time you’re on a date, try being open-minded, and get rid of those boxes that keep you closed off from happiness.
What is ghosting? Everyone classifies ghosting a little differently, but in a nutshell ghosting is when you’ve been out on multiple dates with someone and you’re having a fantastic time – you might even have entered into the ‘exclusively dating’ phase and then all of the sudden *POOF* one day, they are gone. Never to be heard from again.
What? Does this actually happen?
Unfortunately…yes. It’s a growing trend in the dating world – instead of men and women drumming up the courage to break it off with the person they’ve been dating they opt to shut them out and disappear completely. Some people even go so far as to delete their social media pages, disconnect their phone number, or change jobs in order to effectively ghost someone. It leaves the ‘dumped’ party feeling totally confused, abandoned and unsettled. I think the best of us want to believe that something MUST have happened to the ghost – I’ve heard everything from maybe they got into a bad accident or maybe they got called away on an international work trip and they haven’t had a chance to call. I’m sorry, but there is a .01% chance that that’s actually the case. We’d all like to believe they’ll turn up with some crazy (but true) reason why they disappeared and you’ll live happily ever after, but sadly this is the real world. 99% of the time the cold, hard truth is that you’ve been ghosted.
Why do people ghost? There’s a ton of reasons why someone might do this. In the modern age of so many different online dating apps and avenues to meet people, the mentality for a lot of singles is ‘on to the next one!’ without considering feelings or providing an explanation to the ghostee. With the popularity of online dating, people feel less and less responsible for their actions because they are having less face-to-face interactions, they aren’t considering that they are hurting someone. They just aren’t interested in anymore and don’t feel invested enough to tell you. All it takes now is to swipe left or right to see what you’re future could hold – that’s a whole lot of temptation, especially if you aren’t committed to someone.
Do I think ghosting is okay? No. At It’s Just Lunch, ghosting has never been an issue because the people that join are serious about dating and don’t see it as a joke or as an avenue to burn through a hundred matches in 10 minutes – they are looking for quality, real people to start a relationship with. However, I have heard stories from clients about being ghosted using other apps and services. It’s a sad, pathetic truth of the modern dating world that everyone should be aware of.
The worst part is, there aren’t any real identifiers for a potential ghost. Our advice? Keep your dates light and casual in the beginning and don’t dive into anything too serious too soon. And most importantly – don’t ever ghost someone.
Have you experienced ghosting? Share your advice on how to deal in the comments!
Things that are meant to be scary: hayrides, haunted houses, and midnight corn mazes.
Things that are NOT meant to be scary: dates. The one thing that we don’t want to transform into a scary, haunted experience is our dating lives. While skeletons may be a fun and festive decoration for the season, it’s best to keep those skeletons in the closet when it comes to the first date. Here are our tips to make sure you shine, rather than spook on your first date.
Don’t over indulge-with words! As always, we suggest keeping first date conversation fun and light! While honesty is always the best policy, don’t share too much information about yourself, especially anything that might be perceived as negative. Keep things POSITIVE! Trust us, portraying yourself in the best light possible will help you shine later on down the road. Your family drama may be a better topic for date #10 than date #1.
Keep the skeletons in the closet, not on the dinner table. Don’t scare away your date by talking about your exes! Listen, nobody’s life is perfect, but on the first date those skeletons need to be kept hidden!
Avoid awkward silences. There’s nothing scarier than trying to think of something to say on a date, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated. Everybody wants to give information and then get information. If he asks you a question, respond and ask a follow up question in return.
Listen. There’s nothing worse than asking the same question over and over. Don’t forget to ask questions about your date and listen. When you listen, it’ll be easy to ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing. And, you never know…all that listening might make it easier to plan a 2nd date! They might mention a movie they want to see, that they’re a football fan or have heard good things about a new restaurant in town.
And remember….keep things simple, fun, and positive. Dating can be scary enough; you don’t need to make it scarier!