In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the country, It’s Just Lunch recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot. We’ll share our findings with you and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!
Now that you’ve made a good first impression as we discussed in Part 1 of our series, it’s time to keep that momentum going. Whether you’re just engaging in a simple dinner, heading to an art gallery, going to a concert, or simply taking a stroll on a beautiful day, the point of a first date is to get to know someone and you can’t do that without conversation. With conversation, comes the opportunity for a bit of flirtation too, so we’ll be covering tips on do’s and don’ts. While you might think some these are straightforward, you’d be surprised how many stumble when it comes to chatting with a partner. Don’t worry; we’re here to help.
Good Conversation: Worth 1000 Words
There’s an old Buddhist saying about conversations called “Right Speech” that basically means the following: speak warmly, friendly, and gently and you can make friends and avoid war. For our purposes, we’ll extend it into use on first dates in order to impress a partner. According to an It’s Just Lunch survey, over a third of singles mentioned easy conversation as an important component of compatibility. So what does this mean? You can dress to the nines, exude physical attractiveness, and even share a similar outlook on life; but if you can’t express yourself beyond that, then you’ll run into problems.
If you struggle with conversation on the first date or simply aren’t sure what to say, there are several tips we can help you with in order to get you going:
- Know your current events. You don’t need to dive into the details of politics or the intricacies of a celebrity’s private life, but having a cursory knowledge of what’s going on will help drive conversation. Remember, ignorance isn’t necessarily bliss.
- Ask open-ended questions. Avoid asking questions that may just have a yes or no answer.
- Remember something your date said and come back to it later on in the conversation if possible. Everyone loves a good listener; it means you’re interested in what they have to say.
- Throw a few jokes into the conversation if appropriate. But please, make sure they are clean and inoffensive.
- Be positive. This is probably the most important element to a first date conversation. While self-deprecation can be cute, it’s rarely a turn-on or a chemistry builder. The majority of people react well to positive thinking, so roll with it.
Stay tuned this week for more tips and results from our 20th Anniversary survey!
