Minnesota Singles Scene by It's Just Lunch

Your Weekly Advice is Here!

We’ve been busy celebrating It’s Just Lunch’s  20^th Anniversary here in our office but no worries, your Weekly Advice is here! Huffington Post contributor, April Daniels Hussar recently posted this article on “The Best Relationship Advice Ever”. We think it’s a great read and encourage you to keep scrolling down.

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Recently I read a a great interview with Dan Savage right here on The Huffington Post. He's the dating advice columnist and gay rights advocate who started the "It Gets Better" Project, a truly remarkable, brilliant and life-saving endeavor. The interview is fascinating and inspiring, and I recommend it, but I'll cut to the chase: toward the end of the interview, Savage gives, causally, the best piece of relationship advice for anyone -- gay, straight, young, old, married, single... you get the idea.

His interviewer, Joshua Kors, mentions his own frustration with dating. Will Kors ever meet the right woman and stop making the same mistakes?

Savage offers this piece of advice:

I think the best thing for you to do is just live your life. Live a life that's worth living, one where you do what you want to do, pursue your passions. That way, if you meet someone, they'll be joining a life that's already really good. And if you don't meet anyone, you can still look back at the end and say, "You know what: I lived a really great life."

Kors says, "Makes sense."

Savage continues:

Keep going on dates. And don't get bitter, either about women or the dating process. ... Life doesn't owe you anything, and I think it's up to all of us to go out and create a fulfilling life for ourselves. Like, my husband Terry, he left the house an hour ago. We have a life together. But if he never comes back, I still need to have something here, a life of my own, one that's fulfilling in itself.

There it is, folks, in a nutshell, the best (and often hardest to listen to and actually live) dating and relationship advice ever.

And it's quite possibly the secret to life.

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Read more of April’s article here. And stay tuned to our blog...we’ll tell you more about our celebration soon!

What NOT to do on your date...

Dan Seitz, blogger for GuysSpeak.com offers his advice on four things NOT to do before the first date. So ladies and gentleman preparing for your date this week, take note so you can make the best first impression!

Don't Overdo the Research

This one is kind of new, but also kind of inevitable.  Leaving aside that "stranger danger" has been pounded into all of our heads, as if serial killers were common instead of very rare, Google and Facebook make it not just tempting, but easy, to look up absolutely everything about your date.

There are two problems with this: one, you may discover something they didn't want to share with you on the first date...or two, you may accidentally reveal you know everything about them, which kind of sends the message "psycho stalker".  So stop the research at "he or she is not a psycho": part of the fun is discovery.

Don't Overanalyze The Communication

It's a stale joke from a '90s comedy about a woman insisting a date's choice of restaurant has some sort of meaning, but, honestly?  Guys do stuff like that too.  Even the most supremely confident person will read something ambiguous and wonder "Huh...what does that mean?"

Let it go: you'll find out what they mean soon enough.

Don't Agonize Over Your Outfit

Once again, something we type women as doing exclusively, but it's something guys do too, in great numbers.  And no, it's not just metrosexuals, either: even the most boorish of guys is smart enough to realize he'll impress his date by bothering to wear a tie.

Don't Freak Out

Above all, relax.

The key thing people forget about the first date is that it's not something to stress over.  It's two people getting a meal and seeing a movie, while getting a sense of each other.  Yes, some dates end with two people shrugging and saying to themselves that at least the food was OK.

However, the most you've lost is one night out of your life.  The idea is not to evaluate the other person on a checklist, but to see if you want to see them again.  Don't force anything, don't stress...just relax and enjoy yourself.  Even if the first date is the last date, it'll be a lot easier.

"The date was outstanding!"

Jared and Leslie were both in their late 40’s with successful careers. Jared was smart, hardworking and very kind and looking for someone that was fun, active, caring and smart. Leslie was his gal! Both Jared and Leslie were divorced and had kids in high school and looking to jump back into the dating scene and find a steady relationship. We coordinated a date for them at a great Italian restaurant for drinks and appetizers.  Jared was Leslie’s fourth match and she was his sixth. When they called with feedback the next day, we were surprised to hear they spent 6 hours together on their date! Leslie exclaimed, “We had so much fun! I had a great time meeting Jared. We had similar interests, we both love to ski and he had a great sense of humor. He is also very well balanced, it was great! I can’t wait to see him again.” Jared was just as enthusiastic, “We were out till midnight! The date was outstanding…she was a great match! She had a lot of life to her, not boring at all. We had a lot of fun!”

This past week, we added another heart on our Relationship Wall, both Jared and Leslie placed their membership “on hold” while they pursued their relationship together!