We came across this article posted by the New York Post about discount dating. With the popularity of discount sites like Groupon and LivingSocial the question arises…is using a coupon on a first date tacky or smart?
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Last week, New York author Whitney Casey joined a mischievous round of “Would you rather . . .” with a group of female friends. An urgent dating dilemma soon surfaced: Would you rather go on a first date with a man who paid for an expensive dinner with a) a Groupon? b) all coins? or c) a credit card that later got rejected?
The women, all successful entrepreneurs, voted unanimously for the dude with the discount. “It’s recession chic.,” explains Casey.
Indeed, more and more Big Apple daters are snapping up steals from discount sites like BlackboardEats, LivingSocial, Scoutmob and Groupon to make urban romance more affordable — and often — more adventurous.
Dan Nainan, a 29-year-old former computer engineer for Intel who now works as a comedian, has used discounts for dates with four different women in the last three months.
“When people get into serious relationships, or get married, they use coupons,” he says of his rational approach. “So why not use them from day one?”
Nainan picks discounts for dates at Manhattan restaurants using Groupon’s iPad application. So far, he says all the women he’s wined and dined (at 50 percent off) have been impressed with his savvy.
Well, all but one.
“The girl who complained didn’t offer to pay, but told me that it was really tacky for me to use a coupon on a date — she said it right then and there at the table,” Nainan recalls.
That begs the question: Doesn’t whipping out a coupon on a date lead to a little romance interruptus?
“You’re not cheap when you bring a coupon on a date, you’re just beating the system,” asserts Casey, author of “The Man Plan” and a relationship expert for Match.com.
Many coupon-slinging singles in the city agree. A recent survey of 16,000 consumers by RedPlum, an online coupon site, found that more than 75 percent of respondents would use a coupon for a first date at a restaurant or the movies.
No question, coupons from sites like BlackboardEats for 30 percent off meals and complimentary bottles of wine are popular. But thrill-seeking singles say recent deals on shooting lessons at Westside Rifle & Pistol Range, sailing school at Hudson River Community Sailing, and go-karting at Grand Prix New York provide not only financial relief for first dates, but also inspiration.
“It motivates you to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do,” says 28-year-old Lower Eastsider Brian Quinn, who co-runs a traveling wine saloon called the Noble Rot. “There’s this tacit vulnerability because neither of you know what to expect — you’re both at the mercy of Groupon — there’s something fun in that.”
Quinn snaps up deals that allow him to chivalrously treat paramours to some of the city’s more spectacular offerings “without killing the bank.”
But Gillian Berrow, a 25-year-old who lives in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, and ghostwrites young-adult novels, isn’t sold.
“These situations are awkward enough without the added weirdness of using a coupon,” she says, noting that many waistaffs seemed perturbed when discounts are presented. “If I went on a date and the guy was like, ‘Oh, excuse me, I brought this Groupon,’ I wouldn’t be disgusted, but I really wouldn’t be impressed”
Berrow believes bargain hunting makes a first or second date feel needlessly tacky and cheap. But snagging date deals later in a relationship? Sign her up!
Last month, Berrow purchased a two-for-one deal from LivingSocial so she and her boyfriend could enroll at Hollywood Stunts NYC together. Sadly, the relationship didn’t last as long as the deal.
“Needless to say, we didn’t get to go and learn back flips,” she sighs.
To ease her bargainer’s remorse, The Post set up Berrow on a two-hour rock-climbing date at Brooklyn Boulder, an adrenaline-pumping adventure recently listed on LivingSocial.
Her partner-in-coupon? Parker Brown, a 30-year-old bartender from Park Slope, who is a fan of using coupons as first-date icebreakers.
“It lets her know you’re ballin’ so hard in this love game, you qualify for a frequent pimping discount at participating retailers,” he jokes. “I had a blast rock climbing, and I was able to charm a top-notch honey for very little money . . . save on!”
While Berrow enjoyed working up a sweat with the cute Brown, she says one drawback of a high-flying discount date is that it leaves little time for romantic banter — especially when you’re hanging on your instructor’s words for dear life.
“There wasn’t much opportunity to get to talk to Parker,” she laments. “On the other hand, I now know how to rock climb — win!”
Winning — in love and in money — during rocky economic times often means accepting changing dating etiquette. Some New Yorkers prefer to downplay their penny-pinching, secretly palming coupons to maitre d’s. (LivingSocial communications director Maire Griffin advises reassuringly: “If you’d like to be more discrete about your wallet-friendly date, just slip the deal voucher to your waitress when you arrive at the bar, restaurant or other activity.”)
Others crow about their coupons before the date’s even begun — a tactic relationship expert Casey recommends for keeping the daunting dating process light.
“It’s a bragging point,” she says, urging full discount disclosure. “You gotta be proud of it!”
Stephen Whitworth, a 36-year-old restaurateur from Brooklyn Heights, is all about being thrifty when it comes to courting. In fact, he recently planned a $15 picnic date complete with low-priced wine from Trader Joe’s and “recycled” admission buttons to the Met. However, he draws the line when it comes to using online discounts, which he views as thoughtless.
“Discount coupons . . . are used when something is essentially a commodity,” he explains. “[A Groupon coupon] signals he thinks of the girl as a commodity.”
But Heather Fink, 29, feels subsidizing a first date is a fair trade. A grad student finishing her MFA at New York University, she’s a “big-time” user of Scoutmob and Groupon and sees nothing tacky about their deployment on dates. In fact, she hopes the next man she meets has enough confidence to whip out a coupon on a first date.
“Comfort and fun are key — saving money definitely helps,” Fink says, echoing the mantra of bargain-loving singles across the boroughs, “Plus, free food tastes better than un-free food!”
