Cleveland Singles Scene by It's Just Lunch

Need a quick catch up on current events for date topics this weekend?

We came across this article from the experts at HowAboutWe that gives you a quick brush-up on this past week's current events. As we've blogged about before, first impressions are pretty important on a first date and just in case a topic comes up...you're going to want to sound educated and in-the-know! Here's the perfect cheat sheet....and don't worry, we won't tell your date.

Feedback Friday

“I liked Sally! The date went really well. Her personality is right on track with what I’m looking for and we had a lot in common. She’s very pretty too, a great smile.”-Adam, 43

“It went well! It was a good match...Adam’s personality is fantastic, we have a lot in common and he’s really attractive. I felt we were very compatible together and we exchanged information. I can’t wait to see him again!”-Sally, 41

Our Favorite Secret of Happy Couples

Women’s Health Magazine recently posted this article "10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples" and we found their advice very helpful! Whether you’ve been together for six months or six years, it’s important to reflect a little bit and work on your relationship. Our favorite secret? Pretending you just met.  Their advice states:

“Spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating. Ask him what he thought of that TV episode or share what you'd do if you won the lottery. "Over time, couples stop asking those exploratory, get-to-know-you questions because they think they already understand each other," says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. But because we all continue to change and develop, little daily check-ins like this are what keep the connection growing, according to Orbuch's research of 373 pairs. Chat about something besides the daily grind—at least for a bit.”

We loved this advice because it really encourages couples to keep things exciting and fresh! After you’ve dated for awhile, you can easily fall into a routine (and that’s a big reason couples break-up). By pretending like you just met...you’ll learn even more about each other and maybe even discover a new hobby to do together!

Check out the rest of their secrets here.

It's Just (Excellent) Practice

B.R. will be blogging about his experience dating with IJL...here is his first post!

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Two things have improved in my life in the past month: my tennis game and my dating "game."

On the tennis courts, I re-connected with an old pal who has been playing more than me in recent years. Also discovered that a business partner plays quite a bit and so now we've had some good matches. Lo and behold, after a few sets, I started noticing I could move the ball around the court again, put more spin on key shots, hit the angles and even hit a crisp forehand or backhand winner under pressure -- sweet! Awesome.

In dating, I found It's Just Lunch. After my initial interview, they set me up on a couple of dates -- and lo and behold I had gotten a bit "rusty" at this too. A three-year relationship had ended a year ago, and I had been focused on other things (business issues, family matters) during the past year. Also wanted the time off before getting back into dating or relationships -- just what works for me.

So heading to the first couple of IJL dates was like picking up the tennis racquet again after a few years off. My game was a bit shaky at first, but soon enough muscle memory (is there such a thing as "emotional muscle memory"? -- hmm, I wonder) started to kick in again. And even the "mis-hits" (in the case of dating, the dates where for whatever reason there didn't seem to be enough initial chemistry) started feeling less awkward and more like part of the game, along with the rediscovery that even if your game is not "perfect" (not every shot is a winner; not every date is going to be your soul mate), there's something to be said for how much more enjoyable it is to be "back in the game" rather than sitting on the sidelines as others hit the winners.

Another interesting thing has happened too, in both tennis and in my dating life. Once I started playing tennis again, I ran into more and more people to play tennis with. I had been working beside my business partner for many months and the subject of tennis never came up until I started describing a match I had played a few days before. On the court playing singles with my friend, two guys on the adjoining court asked us for a doubles match, which was great (we won 7-5, huzzah!) and we may do that again. The point is, the more you do something and enjoy it, the more likely you are to find more ways to do the same thing, and continue to enjoy it. A virtuous circle, so to speak.

And sure enough, IJL dates have led to more dates. Not only repeat IJL dates, but suddenly my sister has someone I "really should meet." Office mates are not only interested in hearing about how dates have gone, they suddenly seem to know single people I might be interested in getting to know.

Not sure if your experience will be similar or the same, but I can tell you, for me at least, that IJL dating has led to feeling more relaxed, confident and comfortable in other dating situations and in social settings in general.  Even if every date or every match is not perfect (and again, they won't be), it becomes excellent practice for when that right person comes along, which will be....sweet! Awesome.

 

 

Feedback Friday: Joe & Amanda

"The date went well! It was a good time. We had an easy conversation and enjoyed some appetizers together. I had fun! She’s a fun girl, I enjoyed myself. I’m definitely going to give her a call." –Joe, 28

"We had a great time. I really liked Joe! We had a great time together; he’s very much the gentleman. He’s professional and goal-oriented and very social, I liked that! I’m looking forward to seeing him again. "–Amanda, 27

Remember dating in 2001? Don't forget to Make The Call.

Take a moment and think back ten years ago to 2001. While cell phones were starting to skyrocket in popularity, not many people had the ability to check email or text on a minute-by-minute basis.  That’s how far we’ve come in terms of interconnectivity. In fact, the term “hyper-connectivity” tells a lot about our personal lives, and that includes dating.  Bottom line: times have changed and our latest It’s Just Lunch dating myth survey results speak to just that.

Even though as a society we’re hyper-connected, ironically, it’s also easier to avoid direct contact. Whether it’s email, text, Facebook, or even through a tricky iPhone app, you don’t have to necessarily see someone you don’t want to see. However, just because we’ve outsourced our communication to gadgets, doesn’t mean we have to set aside politeness. Here are some stats from an It’s Just Lunch poll on dating and technology:

                -Only 15% of singles said they would check their email if they were bored on a first date

                -One in three women would text or email a person to turn them down

                -One in four men preferred a phone call as opposed to text or email.

Bottom line: Be a little "old-fashioned" and make the call.

You've landed the 2nd, 3rd or 4th date...now what?

We've featured blog posts about having first date success. Now, you've landed the next date...now what?

Our advice for the upcoming dates is to do something interactive (change it up from the standard dinner and drinks!). Many people find it easier to open up and connect with someone when they are moving around. Plus, it will help you figure out if you have chemistry and help make a better connection. Need some fresh and fun ideas for a date? Check out this article from Marie Claire on 51 date ideas...you're bound to find something great to do. Good luck!

Feedback Friday

"Elizabeth is everything you said she was! Thank you so much for matching us together, she is exactly what I'm looking for. She is smart, worldly and so kind. She's beautiful! She's also a basketball fan so we had fun talking about our brackets too!" -John, 34

"John is such a great guy! He loves his job and is close with his family which is really important to me. He's athletic and had great stories to share about his travels. He's really good looking and was well-dressed. I gave him my number and I think we're getting together this weekend to meet and watch some basketball games."- Elizabeth, 31

More Scientific Research For First Date Success

A few weeks ago, we had a blog post about scientific research explaining why there is no substitute for meeting face-to-face (it’s what we do here at It’s Just Lunch!).

We recently came across this article on five scientific tips from the book, Brain Trust that can help your first date go smoothly. One of their tips regarded the Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of Northwestern and Texas A&M universities research.  Their advice? Make sure you arrive before your date.

The research used speed dating to show that the sex that sits and waits is more liked than the sex that rotates from table to table, person to person. Why? A concept called “embodied cognition” which is a much studied form of subconscious crossover between thoughts and actions. With dating, it means you like things you approach-which is why they advise to arrive before your date!

To read the rest of the research and tips on letting your feelings show, body language and their research on voice and conversation tips, click here.

Top 3 Bad Habits We Have On First Dates

We came across this article on dating bad habits that we had to share with our blog readers!  As we went over the list, we recognized these habits from feedback from our clients and even admitted to doing these things ourselves! As an office, we decided the Top 3 Bad Habits on First Dates would be:

Not being yourself. This may seem trite, but faking knowledge or interests is an immediate turn-off, and it’s something most people can sniff out right away. You don’t have to agree on everything or share every interest to have a great first date, and in fact it’s often much more fun to find the things you do disagree on.

Nervous phone checking. Look it’s not that I get offended if you’re repeatedly checking your phone during the date, and it’s not even a politeness thing — it’s that it’s unattractive. If there’s a little lull in our conversation (which is a totally normal and not bad thing), manically unlocking your phone gives off an impression of insecurity, or that you need to be constantly entertained.

One-word answers to every question. I don’t know if it’s out of coyness, or nervousness, or what, but find a way to elaborate a little, because “yeah” and “no” aren’t exactly chemistry-inducing responses.

To read the rest, click here.